The Early Hours : Adam Zagajewski

early morning

 

The early hours of morning: you still aren’t writing
(rather, you aren’t even trying), you just read lazily.
Everything is idle, quiet, full, as if
it were a gift from the muse of sluggishness,

just as earlier, in childhood, on vacation, when a colored
map was slowly scrutinized before a trip, a map
promising so much, deep ponds in the forest
like glittering butterfly eyes, mountain meadows drowning in sharp grass;

or the moment before sleep, when no dreams have appeared,
but they whisper their approach from all parts of the world,
their march, their pilgrimage, their vigil at the sickbed
(grown sick of wakefulness), and the quickening among medieval figures

compressed in endless stasis over the cathedral;
the early hours of morning, silence

-you still aren’t writing,

you still understand so much.
Joy is close.

(Translation by Clare Cavanagh)

Only Once …

conspire

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

~ Bob Marley

Beauty, Midnight, Vision

WH Auden in London in 1938

Beauty, midnight, vision dies:
Let the winds of dawn that blow
Softly round your dreaming head
Such a day of welcome show
Eye and knocking heart may bless,
Find the mortal world enough;
Noons of dryness find you fed
By the involuntary powers,
Nights of insult let you pass
Watched by every human love.

~ W.H. Auden

IN THE ABSENCE OF LIGHTS

IN THE ABSENCE OF LIGHTS

Dark-mirrored hallways
a dim precision march
Here we have tread before
Without fear/Well measured
Pagan desires and objective
Study. Pavlov’s dog is still
Breathing, his cigarette falls
To the floor and he dances like
a manic animal. Lost in the
headlights, accidents shall
occur once more. There are
no excuses left for avatars,
no reasons left for men,
only lights in the doorways
flicker and then they slowly

===F===A===D===E

(to grey)

(to grey)

(to grey)

out.

exit.

_________________________________

 

R.M. ENGELHARDT

Even So …

Even so, when the framework of the world is dissolved, and the final hour, closing so many ages, reverts to pristine chaos, then the fiery stars will drop into the sea, and the earth will shake off the ocean…and the whole distracted firmament will overthrow its laws.”

Marcus Annaeus Lucanus (Lucan, Roman Poet)