R.M. ENGELHARDT

Poet Writer Author Albany NY

  • Lou Reed

     

    PLAYING MUSIC lS NOT LIKE ATHLETICS

    Playing music is not like athletics:
    One may improve with age.
    The untrained mind with natural talents
    reflects the part and never the whole
    it is too narrow to perceive itself.
    Its goals erase themselves.

    May I have your ear, that
    curlicued receptor of sound?
    (If this were Rome we could be so grand).

    The movement from instinct to calculation is quite profound
    You’ve listened and been more than a tape recorder.
    Talent carries its own weight;
    the intellect it weds determines greatness.
    Our age is such that we must fight off fat.
    One hopes the mind outlasts the skin.

    If this is true,
    I’II say goodbye to me,
    and say hello to
    yet another you.

    Hooky Wooky CD single, 1996

    Lou Reed, 1996
    Photo: Renaud Monfourny, Les Inrockuptibles, no. 45

    WASTE

    Sometimes when I’m all alone
    I feel a type of fear
    dawn’s descending, dusk is breaking
    creep my darling near.
    I see my life before me
    as a seamstress sees her pins
    fulland linedwithfailure
    and coated then with sin.
    An education gone to waste
    talent left ignored
    imagination rent with drugs
    someone who’s always bored
    scared to death of life itself
    but even more by death
    not fit company for anyone
    let alone a wife
    no example for a child
    therefore no sun for me
    I am told never to think these thoughts
    for they make me unhappy.

    The sin was craziness you see
    don’t blame yourself for that –
    a strange childhood, wel1 that is true
    but nothing can be done about that.
    The future is the same for all
    we face it as we can
    and there is nothing wrong with fear
    it proves that you’re a man.

    Then other times I feel so good
    the opposite you see
    I think I’m full of talent
    good old intuitive me.
    I write all hours of the night
    terrible poetry.
    Others say that it is good
    but they are lying to me.
    Why would they lie, you might ask
    and to this I would reply
    encouraging me encourages them,
    to cut me shows their lie.
    For mine was illusion of life well spent,
    everyone thought so.
    I was courted as a rake
    wherever I did go.
    But I know warts, you can’t fool me
    with flattering and praise.
    You sing my songs to prove to yourselves
    that you are not a waste.

    THOUGHTS TURN TO MURDER LATE AT NIGHT

    We can learn to murder in the early hours
    mulling over dour fate
    technology offering its endless alternatives:
    poisons, boxes spewing chemicals.
    And yet
    in murder
    we return to the odious spectacle of physical expression –
    I’ll break you neck;
    I’ll break your back
    thinking unacquired savagery.

    Karate is a special kind of dance.
    Who pulverizes someone else’s bones
    has lifted violence to the level of
    an art,
    which, unlike ballet,
    does not require the total man.

    Magic And Loss, Metal Memorial Edition CD, 1992

  • smokes

    words

    coffee.rm

  • “dogs and angels are not
    very far apart”
    ~ Charles Bukowski

     

    bukowski

  •  

    salingerjd

     

    Follow inspiration, not popularity.

    Write from the soul, not for the world.

     

    ~ R.M. Engelhardt

  •  

     

    Among saints & sinners,

    Good & evil

    God & Satan

    Nothing matters.

    Among books filled with

    Words, conformed and

    Pressed into a small child’s

    Mind

     

    Nothing matters.

    Among the shadows,

    Self-esteem cut down by

    Authority and the egos of

    Those who have murdered and

    Buried their dreams

    Nothing matters.

    Among the opinions & speculations,

    Expectations ten long years after

    Who is the failure and what

    Is contentment

    Nothing matters.

    Among the critics and

    The sad petty levelers

    The damned & the damning

    Nothing matters.

    Among the forgotten,

    The wild actions of a

    Once uncaring, unconscious youth

    Nothing matters.

    Among the depressed, the once

    Suicidal who couldn’t

    Find his place in reality’s schemes

    Nothing matters.

    Among the conquests,

    Among the losses & unreal lovers,

    The young women made love to and the

    False makeup queens soul-fucking in the

    Aftermath of ruins & chaos and the

    Human heart

    Nothing matters.

    And among the love given and

    Taken, created & destroyed,

    Possessed and disowned

    Nothing matters.

    For these words … are my religion,

    This voice … is my church,

    This poetry … is my existence

    And nothing else matters.

     

    R.M. Engelhardt   

     

  • trustpoem

  • goddrinkingcoffee

    We were hanging out drinking a few shots with
    that asshole Metastopholies.
    He (as usual) was trying to boug a few drinks, and (as
    usual) we..ignored him. At work as usual it was one
    long fucking day. I was stuck putting up the sequoias
    and disagreed; God liked red, I..liked black. And
    somehow the boss (I won’t use her real name) told us
    that our work was getting “sloppy’. Too many species,

    she said, too many ferns, something like that. You are
    always spending way too much time arguing and I’ll
    have to let one of you go, the temporal mental bitch
    said. “Fine!” I said, “I quit!” Buddha, Muhammad and a
    few others were already gone and had decided to start
    their own companies. And me, well I was just tired of
    all of the insipid & corporate shit where the motto
    was “Heaven… we care”. And this action left God whom I
    always thought to be a pretty decent kid in general,
    to run the factory. And for awhile we kept in touch.
    “How’s it goin?” I’d ask and he’d say “Great, but I’m
    really busy” “We’ll get together for a beer sometime,
    ok?” Ok. But more & more the silence increased. Never
    a reply back, never a how are you and never a word through the
    psychic dimensional thought. Eventually I found out
    that God had taken over and that he had been bumped
    up. It figures…I thought. He always was more of the
    corporate type than me.

    Its been awhile now and I haven’t heard from him in a
    few eons. I heard that he never really recovered from
    that incident with his kid. Stay away from beautiful
    women, we told him, stop trying to be a hero. But he,
    never listened and almost…lost everything. Recently I
    transformed myself into a man and I caught a glimpse
    of him in a bar in NY City. Timothy McVey had just
    blown up the federal building with children in it and
    God was sitting drunk on a bar stool drinking red
    wine. He was really fucked up and he had aged
    something awful. “Bartender! Give me another fucking
    glass!” he said. They kicked him out and he
    disappeared stumbling into the night. I was saddened.
    The firm is going under and he’s losing control, other
    power hungry kids are creating technology & spirit
    advances. God’s becoming an antique, but I know he
    won’t retire. Me, well don’t worry about me. I’ll be
    fine. These days I’m living as a cat owned by a girl
    going thru a tough time. I know where I’m needed. And
    even though no one remembers all of the work that I’ve
    done its alright. The cycles of the universe go on
    because love, redemption and faith never stop and
    never die.

    Oh and by the way, do you like coffee? Good…that was
    MY idea!

    __________________
    R.M. ENGELHARDT
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